This is from the thread of an email conversation I had with one of my friends... we connect on a very basic and far-reaching level.  He suggested that I post this on my blog, titling it "Highs and Lows", and I agreed.

This was my last entry of the conversation:

"I know exactly what you’re talking about… if you look at each, the highs and the lows, they are exactly the same thing… they are feelings that are really projections of expectations.  When you’re high, you feel like you can’t be beat.. that everything’s going great and will continue that way.  When you’re low, you sink into fear of what might come.  Neither is living in the present. Sad to say, but the extent to which I live in the present leaves me little room for high highs… but also stops me from experiencing low lows. 

It’s a matter of taking stock of the actual moment in which you’re living… what’s happening at this moment… and doing that consciously when you’re feeling great as well as when you feel low.  Things are not as ‘great’ as you imagine them, nor are they as ‘bad’ as you fear them.  It’s a matter of mind training… I use my breath as my tool to bring me back to the present because it’s always in the present!"

So you read this (does anyone read these entries?) and think, to heck with all that,  I WANT the high-highs... they help me make it through the low-lows.  You may wonder how I enjoy my life if I don't get really geeked up over something, or sink into the pits of oblivion, and I'd tell you that I still DO get 'geeked' up about stuff, and do put myself into the depths of my own personal hell.  What I said was, "...to the extent that I live in the present...", which is, of course, NOT all the time.  But for me, I far prefer living a life of contentment and peace - living in the only moment that really exists (you guessed it -NOW), to dwelling on the euphoria of what was, or the fear of what might be... or even what many consider their polar opposites, reliving my shameful moments of the past, or harboring expectations of glory in a future that will never really arrive.

Do I sound esoteric here?  Let me put it into day to day terms.  For quite some time I've been imagining how much better my life would be if we had crown moulding installed on our kitchen cabinets.  Yeah, I know, how utterly materialistic of me.  Hey, I'm not perfect, I'm human and I DO have my desires!  So, I'm living life with a picture of a future with crown moulding on my kitchen cabinets... I see myself peaceful, enjoying the kitchen more and really feeling my life's problems have been solved.  We go ahead and get the crown moulding, and IT does make the cabinets look much nicer... finished, if you will.  And yet my life hasn't changed one iota.  So for all the fantasizing, imagining and picture-painting I did in my over-active mind, all I get from the crown moulding is a moment's satisfaction.  And while I may relive that satisfaction from time to time, it is in no way anywhere near the image I'd built in my head about how my life would be changed with crown moulding.

Okay, so now you get my point perhaps.  It was only for illustrative purposes anyway... you can substitute my crown moulding for ANYTHING you hold in such esteem... clothes, food, seeing a movie, rooting for a sports team, building a pool, owning a house, having a certain car... you name it and if you imagine that having it will transform your life, for the time you carry that belief, you've stopped living in the present.

I'm happy to leave the highs and lows behind, and feel serenity, peace and contentment in the present, where I am ALWAYS safe, always cared for, always okay.

Does this make sense to you?

-Peter